Nanny Agency JobsAn open-ended question makes room for more than one possible response. Its value in everyday conversation depends on whether you want to hear the child's idea and whether the child wants to talk. A list of impressive questions is less useful than one question that fits the moment.
This guide focuses on ordinary conversation during nanny hours. It is not a script to run through while a child is absorbed in play.
Ask something whose answer you do not already require
NAEYC's guidance on questioning distinguishes questions with several possible answers from questions seeking a single correct response. That distinction helps you notice when a conversation has quietly become a test.
“What color is that?” may have a straightforward purpose when you need to identify something. It does not invite the same kind of answer as “What made you choose that one?” Neither opening word guarantees a good conversation. “Why didn't you do it properly?” begins with why but already contains a judgment.
Before speaking, identify what you are curious about. If the answer is actually an instruction, say the instruction clearly instead of disguising it as a question.
Fictional example: a surprising drawing
Mae shows her nanny, Ellis, a drawing covered with short lines. Ellis nearly asks, “Is that rain?” Instead, he says, “I'd like to hear about this part,” pointing without touching the paper.
“Those are the sounds,” Mae says.
Ellis had expected a picture of a place. He lets that expectation go. “Which sound did you start with?” Mae indicates a line near the edge. “The door.” Ellis answers, “The door sound is over here.”
Mae draws another line and says it is the quieter door. Ellis does not ask her to explain every remaining mark. He has heard something specific about her idea and can let her continue it.
The conversation does not need to end with a fact he intended to teach. Its subject emerged from Mae's answer.
Choose the kind of invitation that fits
Here are original prompts for different conversational openings. Use one when it matches what the child has brought to you, rather than treating them as a sequence.
- An account: “Which part would you like to tell me first?” This leaves the order with a child who wants to describe an experience.
- A choice: “What mattered to you when you picked it?” This asks about the child's reason without assuming there was only one.
- An imagined possibility: “What might your character do with that message?” Use it when the child has invited you into the story.
- A difference: “What seems different to you this time?” This can follow something the child has already noticed changing.
If a prompt sounds too abstract for the conversation, make it more concrete. Pointing to the part the child is discussing can be enough. You do not need a more complicated sentence simply because the question is open-ended.
Leave room for a response that is not a speech
The UK Department for Education's interactions guidance emphasizes pauses, nonverbal communication and avoiding a barrage of questions. A child can respond by showing you something or returning to an action.
Fictional example: Ellis asks Mae which sound she wants to add next. She picks up her drawing tool and begins making a long line. He waits rather than repeating the question. When she finishes, she says, “That one takes ages.” Her drawing and comment belong to the same response.
If she had kept drawing without speaking, Ellis could have let the question end there. Turning silence into “Use your words” would create a new demand that Mae had not invited.
Follow the answer rather than your prepared list
A follow-up should connect to what the child actually said. It can also be a comment.
Return to the fictional drawing. Mae says, “I don't want this sound anymore.” Ellis could ask about the next color, but that would bypass her point. He says, “You want to change this part.” Mae decides to use the other side of the paper. Ellis makes space for her choice without declaring the first drawing a mistake.
Notice when your questions are no longer adding anything. Repeated “What else?” can make an answer feel unfinished even when the child is satisfied. “Thanks for showing me” gives the conversation a possible ending.
You can be interested without extracting an explanation. When the child brings you another idea, begin there. The measure of a useful exchange is whether you responded to this child and this answer, not how many questions you asked.
Sources
The drawing conversation and prompt examples are original illustrations, not an assessment activity.