Nanny Agency JobsTell the agency which former reference is unavailable, explain what you actually know about the situation and ask what evidence it can consider. Keep two questions separate: how to confirm that you held the job, and who can describe your work firsthand. An old employment record may help with the first without answering the second.
A reference who has died, someone you cannot reach and someone who has declined to speak are different situations. Describe yours accurately. You do not need to invent a more persuasive explanation or make an unavailable person appear contactable.
Explain the gap without guessing
Identify the role and dates affected. If your former employer has died, a brief factual explanation is enough to begin the conversation. Avoid volunteering private family circumstances or collecting sensitive documents before the agency tells you what it needs.
If an email bounces or a number no longer works, say that. If you have sent a message and received no answer, describe it as no response, not a refusal. Keep a short note of reasonable contact attempts; repeated calls to relatives, public appeals or approaching the children are not a sensible reference-recovery plan.
Ask whether the application can proceed while the agency considers alternatives. Adventure Nannies describes telephone reference checks as part of its candidate screening. That illustrates why a letter alone may leave a gap in a particular agency's process; it does not establish what your agency must accept.
Sort what you can offer
Use this original evidence map before sending files. These are possibilities to discuss, not approved substitutes.
| Possible evidence | How to label it honestly | What remains unresolved |
|---|---|---|
| An existing recommendation letter | Letter issued by the former employer on its original date; writer currently unavailable | The agency cannot assume a new conversation or current verification has occurred |
| An employment document or payroll record | Record offered to support the role or employment period | It does not provide an assessment of your performance |
| Another adult who observed the work | The person's actual relationship and the work they personally saw | They may not know the whole job or meet the agency's reference requirements |
| A supervisor from a different childcare role | A reference for that separate role and period | They cannot authenticate a household job they did not observe |
Ask which item would help, how to submit it and which private details may be removed. Do not email a complete financial or household archive to compensate for one missing reference. A course certificate can document training; it cannot supply the missing employer's opinion.
Describe an alternative person's view
A former co-nanny or household manager might have seen your handovers, routines or teamwork. Before offering their details, ask permission and establish what they can discuss. Introduce them by their real role, rather than calling them your employer if they were not.
Fictional example: Maya's former employer has died. A household manager worked alongside her for the final six months of a three-year role. Maya proposes the manager as someone who observed those six months, and separately asks whether an existing employment record can help establish the longer period. She does not ask the manager to endorse years they did not witness.
Send a small, specific proposal
Original message to adapt: “My reference for [role and dates] is unavailable because [brief accurate explanation]. I have [existing document] and could ask [person and actual relationship] whether they can discuss [work they observed]. Would either help your process? Please tell me what would still be required and the appropriate submission route.”
Keep an original letter unchanged. Never recreate a signature, write in the former employer's voice or use an automated tool to manufacture their endorsement. Label your own account as your own, even if it is carefully formatted.
Record the agency's answer
Note what the agency agreed to review and what remains outstanding. Receiving your documents is different from accepting them as sufficient. If the agency cannot progress the application, ask which requirement remains unmet so you can make a realistic next decision. Do not describe the reference as verified elsewhere merely because one recruiter reviewed your explanation.
Sources
Adventure Nannies: Candidate Process, checked October 30, 2026, supplies the agency-specific screening example. The evidence map, message and fictional case are original NAJ application guidance, not that agency's alternative-reference policy.