Nanny Agency JobsBefore a parent leaves you with their child, agree how that particular departure will work. Know what the parent will say, when you take responsibility and how you will communicate afterwards. A familiar goodbye can still include tears or questions; your job is to offer the agreed support without making promises about how quickly the child will settle.
This guide concerns ordinary departures during nanny care. It offers practical conversation examples, not an assessment of separation anxiety or a treatment plan.
Prepare the adult agreement away from the doorway
Ask the parent to describe a recent goodbye. What did they tell the child? Where were you expected to be? Was the parent leaving the home or moving to a work area? Which parts of the explanation were certain, and which were guesses?
NAEYC's guidance on goodbyes recommends becoming familiar with the caregiver before departure and establishing a predictable goodbye routine. Its article addresses transitions into child care; the household conversation below is an original application to nanny work.
Agree a small sequence you can both explain. A parent working upstairs should not be described as leaving for the day. If the return time is uncertain, decide how to communicate that honestly instead of inventing a reassuring clock time.
Choose words that remain true after the parent goes
Prepare an opening for the parent and a response for you. Keep each short enough to sound natural. Use the child's familiar names for people and places, and avoid promising a particular feeling or activity result.
Fictional example, parent leaving the home: “I'm going to my appointment. Sam is staying with you. We'll say goodbye here, and I'll see you when I get back.”
Fictional nanny response: “Your dad has gone to his appointment. I'm here with you. We can stay here together for a moment.”
For a parent working at home, the words need a different fact: “I'm going upstairs to work. Sam is looking after you now.” If the family has agreed a later parent visit, describe that actual arrangement. Do not promise access to the parent whenever the child asks unless that is what the adults have agreed.
These examples are starting points for ordinary language, not phrases guaranteed to prevent distress.
Rehearse the handover once with the parent
Walk through where the adults will be and the point at which you take responsibility. Do this without turning the child into an audience for a long negotiation. Check any practical ambiguity before the parent is trying to get out of the door.
Fictional rehearsal: Parent Mina expects nanny Sam to begin a game while she says goodbye. Sam had understood that they would first share a brief goodbye by the door. They clarify the sequence together: Mina says she is leaving, Sam acknowledges the departure, and Mina completes the handover. The next invitation comes from Sam afterwards.
The useful result is agreement about the adults' actions. It is not a test of whether the child reacts correctly. If the family's proposed arrangement requires preparation you do not have, or conflicts with appropriate care or safety guidance, resolve that before relying on it.
Respond to the child who is actually there
After departure, listen to the child's words and notice what they choose. You can acknowledge a direct statement without arguing it away: “You want Dad here.” Avoid adding an explanation the child did not give, such as “You think he won't come back.”
Offer a familiar, available next step without requiring enthusiasm. “The books are here when you want them” leaves room for a response. If the child declines, do not report that your plan has failed or replace it with a succession of increasingly elaborate distractions.
Keep statements about the parent accurate. Answer a repeated question with the information you actually have. Refer unresolved questions or concerns through the family's agreed contact and support arrangements; this guide does not set a waiting period for seeking help.
Give a useful update and adjust one detail
Agree beforehand how an ordinary update will reach the parent. Keep that routine update separate from communication needed sooner because a question or concern requires attention.
A fictional factual update might read: “After you left, Ellis asked for you and stayed beside me. Later we looked at the book together. I used the return wording we agreed.” It does not say Ellis was “fine the whole time” or assign a cause to the reaction.
At a suitable adult check-in, ask what was unclear. Perhaps the parent used an unexpected exit, or you mentioned a return activity that changed. Correct that detail for the next departure instead of inventing a completely new approach after every goodbye.
The aim is a truthful, coordinated handover and responsive care, with no deadline imposed on the child's feelings.
Sources
NAEYC: 11 Ways to Help Children Say Goodbye, by Julia Luckenbill. Used narrowly for caregiver familiarity and predictable departures. Scripts, rehearsal and update examples are original and fictional.